Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ginger Leigh's Fabulous Shopping Spree Contest! (my wishlist)

Here's my entry for Ginger Leigh's Fabulous Shopping Spree Contest!

My wishlist:

Selene Vibrating Clitoral Pump ($33.99) A greater external exposure of my clit + sounds amazing.

Nipplettes ($29.19) My nipples are wicked sensitive, and I've always been curious about nipple clamps.

Thigh Harness ($25.89) This looks like it would create a lot of possibilities for penetration.

Squirting Realistic Cock ($ 51.49) I ejaculate plenty, but I don't really get to see it happen, and would really like to.

Curve Violet Dildo ($ 70.99) This is so darn pretty! It recommends itself to solo and partner play.

Lockable Vibrator Case (57.49) If I have this volume of sex toys, I'm going to need somewhere to keep them all!

Lucid Dream No. 54
($32.19) I love the Lucid Dreams line, and I've been meaning to pick this one up.

Pro Touch Vibrator ($38.19)

G-Force (50.89) This strikes me as a dream come true for deep, hard, fucking either with a partner or on my own.

Share (94.99) Do I really need to explain the appeal?

Door Jam Cuffs ($26.89) Consensual helplessness is hot - I like to get down on my knees for people, and this way I wouldn't have to worry about them falling.

VibraFun Crop ($55.89) Vibrating Crop = Brilliant.

Super Cuffs (29.89) I want to have my hands tied behind my back and get fucked from behind.

OhMiBod (72.49) I love music, I love sex, I've been posting about wanting to try this forever!

Natural Countours Energie ($33.89) I could probably use a little help working on my kegels.

Layaspot ($61.89) I've heard such good things about this vibrator, I would like to give it a try.

Vibe Wrist To Finger (39.49) Convenient and so hot looking!

E-Z Rider With 6 Inch Realistic Dildo (42.19) This looks like an awesome way to fuck myself from on top.

Boy Butter Lubricant (27.89)

Lucid Curves #21 (25.19) Again, love the Lucid line, and sometimes you just need something to pay some serious attention to your clit.

Snugglepuss ($53.19) I've always been curious about this one.

= $954.60

Monday, April 27, 2009


Essin' Em just reminded me via twitter, of the summer of '06 during which I concluded that 'exercise is the new sex'.
What, Kinsey?
Well, from my point of view, working out provided the following:
I would run to the same music that I liked to dance to, so that in itself would be a bit of a turn-on, because it would evoke in my mind being ground-on by dozens of hot people at bars and parties that often enough resulted in my getting laid, or at the very least some making-out. I'd sweat my ass off. A lot of the movement and positions of weight-machines were rather evocative of sex. Especially the recumbent leg-press. Getting into that position and lifting the weight felt like nothing to me so much as preparing to get fucked like crazy. Likewise many of the ab exercisers, lying upside-down at an incline, or being bent over and lifting up working on my back.

Can you honestly tell me you don't know what I'm talking about?

Of course I would then go home and jerk off in the shower. The gym is the #1 place that I thank goodness that my naughty bits more or less hide tucked-away and that it is not dreadfully obvious when I'm aroused at inappropriate times ie) in public

Why else am I thinking of this? I'm too darn sick to work out, and that makes me sad.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


God I love when Mon Amore spanks me.
That's all.

Monday, April 20, 2009

the 'eyes' have it

I was just thinking about mascara,
which is something I do a number of times on any given day.
In fact, if the things about which I most frequently think are, in no particular order:
sex, mascara, religion, the recession/money in general, the environment, food, and politics. I have , personal involvement in all of these subjects, 1.8 degrees (yes, that's how I'm calculating the finished portion of my Master's degree.) arguable expertise in 4 of them, and make the most frequent use of mascara. Well, probably money if you think about it in terms of goods and services already paid for, or in the process of being paid for, but I don't *feel* as though I use money every single day, or even on as many days as those on which I wear mascara, which is between 4 and 7 days of any given week.
No matter what my life is like, I can pretty safely say, that I wear, have worn, and will wear mascara more than I am currently having, have had, or will have sex, or probably even masturbate. Okay, maybe the last part is not true,, but my lifetime of mascara is probably even to that of masturbation, and exceeds the amount of sex.
I've been wearing makeup since I was 12, I didn't start having sex for another five years after that. I have definitely owned more tubes of mascara than I have had sexual partners. Hell, after having thrown out any of the ones that are even kind of old, I currently own ten. Even if I only went through the hygienically recommended 2-4 tubes a year, which I do not, I would be at a minimum of 26-52 tubes. I have had fewer than 52 lovers. Then take into account the fact that I will almost unquestioningly purchase every 3rd or so new product that claims that it will give me inhumanly long, thick, and dark eyelashes. If I had sex with approximately the same proportion of people in the world as mascaras I buy out of those on the market... I can't even begin to do the math or think of the consequences.
Mascara is so often (though granted, not always) easier to come by than sex, and has left me with unpleasant feelings far less frequently. Disappointing new formula, eh, bad sex - boo. No mascara wand has ever made me feel used, no matter how much I've regretted its purchase, how miserably it failed to live up to my expectations, or how overpriced I may have thought it was.

So, back to what I was thinking,
I was thinking that I should have a blog dedicated entirely to mascara - product testing, and my excessive internal dialogue about it. Then I was thinking that I simply haven't got the money to toss away on the amount of makeup I would have to buy in order to post on anything like a regular basis with anything valuable to say. I would have to buy it, or at least own it in order to give it a proper test - take pictures, wear it for a couple of days during a number of different activities, etc., etc. I'm sure I would begin to try the patience of even the nice people at Sephora were I to walk in every morning to put on a product and leave without purchase that often.
I could of course START WITH WHAT I HAVE and what I have had/worn. I've got a more than solid base from which to start. I have far better chances of people sending me free mascara to try, review, and enjoy, than I do sex toys and products, like say Essin'Em does. I'm just not that cool, nor do I feel quite that authoritative. Believe me, I want to be. I want people send me free condoms, lubes, sex toys, porn, and furniture because I'm awesome and my opinion is respected, but I just haven't got the highest of hopes for that happening. Mascara on the other hand, mascara, I know. I wouldn't really need anyone else to help me test it, although I'm sure my friends, the odd stranger, and Mon Amore would weigh in on occasion. There's also very little to get in the way of my wearing/testing mascara. It takes remarkably little time to put on, and I can obviously be wearing, ergo: testing mascara while doing any number of other things - including having sex/masturbating, whereas the former activities tend to limit one's ability to do a whole lot else, at least, the way I've been doing them. I also might mention times like the present, at which I have a really horrible sinus infection and barely feel capible of doing anything, and most definitely cannot be having sex - I'm really kind of astounded I'm thinking corherantly enough for long enough to write this, but you bet your ass I was wearing mascara this morning. Hell, I even bought some fiberwig while waiting for my antibiotics to be ready.

So, the moral of the story I suppose, is would you read it if I blogged about mascara? Do you have suggestions as to what I should write about? Would you like to send me products to try? Shameless, I know.

- I am happy to say, that I have never contracted a disease from a sex or mascara.

*knock wood*

materialism - money buying me love

Things that always make me temporarily happy, when I buy them:
sex toys
things in which to put other things - boxes, bags, tins, cases, etc.
all varieties of post-its

-basically, things that make me feel a) attractive b) organized

Clearly, the job of some of these things is longer lasting than just their purchase, ie) actually feeling pretty whilst wearing said makeup, shoes, earrings, and lingerie, orgasms achieved with the aid of sex toys, the organization of my life via containers and post-its, and the communiques written on stationary. I think I have solid evidence for my feeling that I express myself better in writing than I do I verbally.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

where are you going to wear that 2.0

You have my solemn promise that at the first opportunity I will post photographs of my shoe and lingerie collections to show you what the fuck I'm talking about.

Friday, April 17, 2009

getting to help you know me

Yesterday I got vagina-probed (internal ultra-sound) yesterday in an attempt to figure out what the heck causes me so much pain and misery. The answer apparently is: nothing they can find. I have a 'simple cyst' on my right ovary, which could just be ovulating, since I took a month break from the pill before starting Yaz to see if it will do a somewhat better job of regulating my cycle and making it less hellish.

It occurred to me that you don't know me very well. That's on me. I'm still getting used to this whole sharing and expressing thing, so : here goes, in the cliched style of '100 things about me'

1) I identify as 'queer' in terms of both sexuality and gender identity
2) I used to to identify as bi,
3) then gay,
4) then I thought I was straight
5) and transgendered.
6) I had a new name picked out and was rehearsing the 'changing my pronouns, friends' speech in my head when I realized that
7) denying my female/feminine side would not serve me any better or make me any happier or more complete than denying my male/masculine side.
8) My gender expression goes through cycles.
9) My sexual tastes and activities do as well.
10) I 'came out' for real when I was 17.
11) I think of myself has having had sex for the first time twice, once with a man and once with a woman.
12) At the moment I'm in this very peculiar phase of embracing my femininity.
13) I think I'm still learning a lot about my sexuality.
14) I haven't been in very many formally codified relationships as such, but mostly have had flings and affairs.
15) I like referring to them as 'affairs,'
16) and to my sex partners as 'lovers'.
17) I'm currently in a long-term (two and 1/2+ years)
18) committed
19) monogamous relationship
20) with a man who I love very much, and with whom I was friends for many years before we changed the state of our relationship.
21) We have discussed the idea of non-monogamy.
22) It never seems to be the right thing for us individually or collectively.
23) Sometimes the collection of the aforementioned facts makes me feel like I'm the Last Unicorn or something equally unheard of amongst my peer-group.
24) In practice and habit, I'm definitely somewhere on the 'butch' end of the spectrum, no matter what I might be wearing.
25) I'm relatively top-ish/dominant
26) but I can, will, and enjoy to 'switch'.
27) Apparently #25 comes as a surprise to some people.
28) I like to be spanked.
29) The inside of my elbows
30) and backs of my kneees are particularly intense erogenous zones for me.
31) I have no idea why, but wow, seriously.
32) I just about melt when people say my name when I'm fucking them.
33) That makes me think I must be some kind of megalomaniac and not even know it.
34) It's entirely possible that I over-think things,
35) especially sex/ my sexuality.
36) I have issues with my body like anyone else raised in this hemisphere
37) but I really like being naked ,
38) don't have a problem being naked in front of sex partners,
39) and like to do it with lights on.
40) I read that people (women in particular) like their faces better than their bodies because they see their faces in the mirror more than the rest of themselves
41) since then I've been looking at my self naked in the mirror at least once a day.
42) I love underwear.
43) I own a really wide range of it, both 'men's' and 'women's'
44) I like to pack.
45) I don't do as often as I used to.
46) I don't get the food as part of sex thing.
47) I tried it,
48) didn't like it.
49) Despite what everyone says, getting my nipples pierced 3 years ago didn't change a thing about their level of sensitivity.
50) They were, and remain, VERY sensitive.
51) People did seem extra interested in them.
52) I showed them to so many people after I got them done,
53) It felt like a spectacle instead of just a part of my body.
54) I love body modifications in general,
55) except genital piercing, which scares the crap out of me.
56) I do not like hairless naughty bits,
57) on me,
58) or anyone else.
59) I tried taking it all off.
60) I didn't like it.
61) My pubic hair is naturally red.
62) It is neatly maintained.
63) My inner labia stick out,
64) much more on the left side than on the right
65) I used to feel very embarrassed about this
66) and thought that there was something wrong with me,
67) which was exacerbated by the fact that an ex used to make fun of it and imitate the way it looked by making faces.
68) I have a complete list of everyone with whom I've ever hooked-up,
69) I made this on the advice of a friend
70) so that I could keep track
71) and present proof should anyone question the truth of my sexual exploits.
72) I have a little mole in the middle right above where my pubic hair ends.
73) I really like it.
74) I thought that this was a part of the anatomy that everyone had until my early teens.
75) I have these ideas about what people find attractive about me,
76) and sometimes feel as though my attractiveness does not extend beyond them.
77) they are: my dimples
78) my freckles
79) my eyes
80) my hair
81) and my breasts.
82) I love it when people tell me that they like my pussy/think it's hot.
83) I have a 'tramp stamp.'
84) It's a lotus, in brown.
85) It's one of four tattoos.
86) I like it from behind,
87) both giving it,
88) and taking it.
89) I have really enjoyed what I have experienced of bondage
90) from both ends
91) and would like to do it a lot more.
92) I think that I project a lot more confidence than I have.
93) I'm a (dirty) talker.
94) I think of myself as being very sexual,
95) but not very sexy
96) and am genuinely surprised when other people think/suggest that I am.
97) I have had orgasms in my sleep.
98) I can have 'spontaneous' orgasms.
99) I get really wet,
100)really easily.

-I'm trying not to feel embarrassed about telling you all of this.
-If have questions, comment, I'll answer.

Monday, April 6, 2009

'Where are you going to wear THAT'?

I was buying a fabulous pair of (very inexpensive) shoes over the weekend at Ross. They are black velvet, with a small platform - the kind that blends into the toe box with the fabric, perilously high stiletto heels, and a strap around the ankle - so not quite Mary Janes. I was also purchasing a lacy red camisole to go under a suit with which I plan to wear said shoes as well, and had the following realization:

based purely on the shoes and lingerie that I own, one might very well come to the conclusion that I were some kind of sex worker.

...Or just a lot hotter, more trampy, or more stylish than I am - even though I've been trying to wear the things that I have and like and not leave them sitting on hangers/shelves and wearing the same jeans and black sweater day in and out.

Friday, April 3, 2009


I have slowly, and modestly, trying to learn to be a locavore. This is not the smartest or easiest thing to do in this ecotome in the winter.
(I'm not sure which it is, to tell you the truth, does Colorado count as the American South-West?)
But, here I am, and thus I sojourn. I decided that student and apartment life were not especially well-suited to this little project, given that I do not currently have a patio, balcony, or even a window-box, and do have cats that like to eat plants in all forms that enter the apartment.
I also used to have a roommate who had a small tropical jungle
(members of which needed to take longer showers than I do bi-weekly)
in our dorm, which has made me a bit more conservative than I might otherwise be about urban farming.

I decided to start small - I would buy local as much as possible, beginning with beer and wine. I'm situated particularly well to do this in Boulder, a city rich in microbreweries and vintners. Local booze instead of imports. Money was, as always, an issue. Good, local, earth-friendly beer and wine is quite often more expensive than imports from South Africa, South America, Europe, and even wineries in California. Colorado made wine was often at least twice as much as the other available options. I often cracked and went for bottles that I knew and liked from more exotic locales.

With food I thought I would start by trying for everything at least to have been produced in this country. Small steps, right? . . .
I discovered a very important thing about me:
I'm not. I'm sorry, I'm just not that good of a person.
I know:
they are NOT grown in these United States
they are often not farmed in an ecologically sustainable way
OR one that is benevolent towards farmers as people
AND they are a major culprit in the carrying of foreign pests ie) spiders to places they ought not to be in their shipping.
I'm sorry world, it's my favorite way to get potassium. I eat one with breakfast pretty much every day. I have them in smoothies, pastries. I just really like bananas. And I'm not even making any kind of innuendo about genitalia.

THEN, It occurred to me:

Why is this relevant? I used not to. It used to take 3000 miles worth of flight on the part of one or the other of us for Mon Amore and I to get down in person. One might also consider the environmental cost of phones, phone-hours, and computer-hours (ergo the power to run them and materials acquired from the DRC to construct them) to have phone or internet sex.
Think of how much we're saving now that we're in the same place! Heck, we even LIVE together, no one even has to drive across town to fuck.

I know, I know. This is about as legitimate as buying carbon offsets or indulgences so far as salving a conscience goes, but there you have it.

My future plans include moving entirely towards domestically produced things of all kinds, including sex toys, etc. I confess, it will take a while. I'm young, I don't have a lot of money, and I was raised low-ish, middle-ish class in North America, I have certain ideas about myself and the world of which it is going to be really difficult for me to let go - bananas, tomatoes year-round, and the GAP.

But... I'm trying.