Friday, May 7, 2010

You want me to kiss you after that!?

I have a hypothetical vampire-sex question. (Shut up, I'm watching 'True Blood')
So, there are those people who, for reasons I completely fail to understand, are unwilling to kiss their partner after said partner has performed oral sex on them, at least not before they gargle or brush their teeth or whatever. In the case of vampire-human sex in particular, because I assume this would be kind of a non-issue with vampire-on-vampire action, would there be those who after being bitten (presumably during sex) would refuse to kiss their blood-sucking lover prior to that lover cleaning their -the human's blood out of their mouth/off their face?
OR, is it possible actually that there would even be those vampires who would be unwilling to be kissed with their own blood on their partner's mouth?
OR, is it completely ridiculous that I'm making blood and sexual fluids analogous in this situation?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Vagazzle (NSFW)

apparently the latest trend in very personal grooming is VAGAZZLING. It is more less exactly what it sounds like, the application of crystals to one's vaginal area. YEAH. Said area is, of course, completely denuded of hair. It seems to be that this is assumed for vagazzling - no one has pubic hair anymore.

IF PEOPLE JUST LEFT THE DAMN HAIR WHERE IT WAS MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T THEN NEED TO ADD RHINESTONES. just a thought. Are people really so terrified of the vagina that they need to make it look like a tiara? I can only imagine vagazzling being a SERIOUS turn-off. Naked pussy is bad enough, but excessively decorated pussy? My dear friend who alerted me to this trend made the excellent point, "What if they fall off when they shouldn't? Do people choke on them?" Any man or woman I encountered who, after removing their underwear was covered in crystals down there (because apparently the upscale places only use swarovski crystals, thank you very much) would have me laughing and then immediately running in the opposite direction. Rugburn is bad enough, I don't need my face, hands, or naughty bits getting chafed and cut up by fucking crystals.
It's like turning the vagina into a museum piece, locked behind plate glass - look, but don't touch because I can't imagine possibly being able to have any kind of sex comfortably with someone who's man or lady bits were bedazzled. And, oh year, penazzling is also apparently a thing.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I almost forgot

I also got the P-style, which I am in the process of learning how to use!
AT LAST, I will be able to pee standing up!!!

let the sunshine in!

It was definitely sad to see Hysteria go. Another small, locally-owned business pushed out of the market.
My darling wife and I went to their going-out-of-business sale*.
I picked up, wait for it....

It is difficult for me to express how much this thrills the eco-geek in me. Basically, as you can see, it's a bullet with a control attached that looks kind of a like a cell phone. You flip the control open so that it stands up at about a 45-degree angle, and it charges in the light! ALSO: It does not necessarily have to have direct sunlight. The electrical lights inside the store were enough to charge the floor model. Understandably it is not waterproof, due to the solar-panel and cells I think. I have not charged mine up or tried it out yet, but am super excited to do so. Mon Amore saw this while at the store for a bachelor party last spring, and told me about it and that it seemed like something that would be perfect for me, except for being a little pricey as compared to similar battery-powered toys.

I'll let you know how it works out.

*unlawfully gay married at Boulder Pride '08, not the same person as Mon Amore.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Goodbye Hysteria.

Hysteria in Denver is closing. Sad times.
I'm checking out the going-out-of-business sale with my darling wife tomorrow.*

*who is not the same person as my partner (Mon Amore), just for clarification.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

the other kind of pussy

Finally watching 'True Blood' for the first time.
Sookie telling her cat to stop purring and watching her masturbate: priceless, and so painfully life-like.