Saturday, April 24, 2010
apparently the latest trend in very personal grooming is VAGAZZLING. It is more less exactly what it sounds like, the application of crystals to one's vaginal area. YEAH. Said area is, of course, completely denuded of hair. It seems to be that this is assumed for vagazzling - no one has pubic hair anymore.
IF PEOPLE JUST LEFT THE DAMN HAIR WHERE IT WAS MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T THEN NEED TO ADD RHINESTONES. just a thought. Are people really so terrified of the vagina that they need to make it look like a tiara? I can only imagine vagazzling being a SERIOUS turn-off. Naked pussy is bad enough, but excessively decorated pussy? My dear friend who alerted me to this trend made the excellent point, "What if they fall off when they shouldn't? Do people choke on them?" Any man or woman I encountered who, after removing their underwear was covered in crystals down there (because apparently the upscale places only use swarovski crystals, thank you very much) would have me laughing and then immediately running in the opposite direction. Rugburn is bad enough, I don't need my face, hands, or naughty bits getting chafed and cut up by fucking crystals.
It's like turning the vagina into a museum piece, locked behind plate glass - look, but don't touch because I can't imagine possibly being able to have any kind of sex comfortably with someone who's man or lady bits were bedazzled. And, oh year, penazzling is also apparently a thing.