Saturday, February 28, 2009

Vagina Weekend

My Vagina is tired. It is, it's exhausted and it's staying right here.

It feels good, but we've both been working very hard and been very busy lately.

Friday night was the first of three performances of 'The Vagina Monologues' by V-Day Boulder this year. I think I can safely say we rocked the house. Last night, we did it again. Afterwords much of the cast went to a bar for dancing and karaoke. That large a group of hot, happy, not taking shit vaginas in dingy bar freaked out a lot of the usual clientele. Go us. I received lap dances from several of the attractive ladies of V-Day Boulder, including Ms. Essin' Em. They were all right against the stage when I sang 'I think we're alone now,' and all over me when I came off the stage.

It was so fun and affirming, but also, it was really enjoyable to see the faces of the middle aged dudes playing pool in the back looking me and and almost being able to hear them thinking 'Huh?' 'What the hell does this girl have/know that we don't.' I try not to be a seperatist in my feminism and most definitely do not hate men. I do hate the partriarchy and I do love those moments when I feel as though I'm upsetting and/or subverting it albeit in a minor way.

Or maybe it just made me feel like a stud, and reminded me of college.

-More about vaginas soon

Friday, February 13, 2009


As Essin' Em commands, I do.
Because, a) she's awesome, b) she knows about these things, c) did I mention that she's awesome?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

shout- out

I have the distinct honor and privilege of performing in V-Day Boulder's production of 'The Vagina Monologues' again this year.

During this process I have been fortunate enough to meet Essin' Em. She's gorgeous, brilliant, talented, and fabulous. I could have told you this on my own, but many others share my opinion, including who voted her the best sex toy reviewer this year. I envy the work that goes in to being awarded such an honor! Rori of named her one of the top all-round sex bloggers. So check her out. Adore her as I do.

Also, wherever you are, please go see a local V-Day production.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

accidental discoveries

I am currently in awe of the volume and selection of sex toys, props, safer sex accouterments, and sexual aids available on Amazon.
I discovered this during a search for pasties. I don't know that I have a particularly legitimate reason for wanting pasties, or an identifiable need for them. You know how it is sometimes. I just want some, cool ones from Bristol6

or Pastease.
What with the nipple piercings and all, maybe this isn't a completely stupid idea. I make an effort to purchase lingerie that keeps the tripple-nipple effect from the barbels concealed in all appropriate situations, but sometimes either it's just not quite enough, or I find myself wearing somewhat less modest and more delicate bras.

At any rate, Amazon has freakin' everything. At some level of course I knew this, but SERIOUSLY. I was sort of expecting sex toys on amazon to fall into one of two categories: the vaguely sketching, not high quality or reputible type, OR, the incredibly high-end, specialized, expensive, designeresque type. I was delighted to discover that this is not in fact the case. They have an awesomely wide selection. Of course! It's Amazon!

Maybe this will somehow facilitate my purchasing an iPod vibrator one of these days... and just imagine the possibilities for my wish list!

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Yesterday, I bought a personal massager. No, really, an item which even I believe is intended for the relief and relaxation of sore muscles in the neck and shoulders.
I am a little embarrassed because I spend so much time laughing at 'personal massagers' in places like the drug store, Brookstone, Target, WALMART of all places (apparently its okay to jerk off, so long as you don't admit to it, but heaven and the Right-Wing, Conservative God forbid that one might need Plan-B )and even at the sex store when the packaging (often due to state laws about shipping and dispensing sex toys. Pardon me, 'Adult novelties') declares the item to be such. I just really feel as though these people aren't fooling anyone, and we all need to get over it. The mystery and shame around masturbation and the use of sex toys in general needs to be lifted, and definitely needs to be removed from the realm of law.

"It is illegal to sell vibrators in the follow states: Alabama, Missippi, Georgia, Louisiana, and Indiana. In some states, if you are caught with intent to sell, you could receieve up to five thousand dollars in fines and face up to 3 years of hard labor. It is totally legal to sell guns in all of these states. We have yet to hear of a mass murder committed with a vibrator"
-Eve Ensler, 'The Vagina Monologues, V-Day Edition' Facts from "The Technology of Orgasm" by Rachel Maines.

My personal massager, which I repeat, is not a vibrator; I am well-supplied in those, came with a recharging base, so it doesn't need batteries. It claims to be a deep-kneeding massager, and has an easy to hold handle. The balls on the end that vibrate light up. I don't know why. It is manufactured by HoMedics, who claim to be the top-selling retailer of personal massagers and home spa products.

So in this instance, I suppose I must eat many of my words, and admit that sometimes, a massager is just a massager. Although, with the creative thinking of that paragon of informed sexuality of Samatha Jones, one never knows.

Brookstone Customer: I think this one really is a back-massager.
Samantha : Not if you mount it.