Friday, December 12, 2008


So whoever this intermediate friend is, they seem to be very aware of my internet activities, less than twelve hours after my being informed about the site, the pictures of me were taken down.
I don't feel as though I was unreasonable about the whole thing, just confused and curious.
I just want to know and understand. If you are involved please talk to me about it?

worth a thousand words?

I just received an email informing me my picture, make that PICTURES are on a website.
How did I get there?
Sorry, in fact I know how I got there, it says that the person that posted them was shown said pictures by a friend of theirs who is my friend on facebook. Maybe I need to be more selective about who I'm internet friends with.

I have never heard of this website. Apparently its primarily concerned with 'feet, tits, and legs', or at least it is in my case. Um, thanks? When I clicked on the link that was sent to me I discovered that I somehow have a profile on it that is 1 month and 27 days old, has a 'fanbase' of 59 people and has been viewed 2,721 times. A message popped up asking me if I wanted to chat with some girl from the area. What?

I'm just.... baffled. Really, truly baffled. Part of this due to my not incredibly positive feelings about the way I look most of the time and part of it being that I'm pretty sure I don't know the person who sent me the email, at least I don't recognize the address and it doesn't include their name.

I'm not sure if I care to do anything about it, or what exactly that would be. I suppose emailing back, or creating a profile on the site to take the pictures down or something. I'm honestly not sure I mind and may in fact be kind of flattered. Thoughts?

The thing that bothers me the most about this is the fact that it refers to me as 'Alexandra.' Gross. Not even my grandmother calls me that.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Rabbit Amnesty and Kidnapping

It was not too long ago that I expressed my concern that sex be ecologically sound and sustainable.
In England, LoveHoney has taken a step in that direction. They have a sex-toy recycling program!

Its not entirely clear to me whether or not this applies solely to rabbit vibrators, or if other sex toys can be recycled as well. In either case, its a step in the right direction, and given the enormous popularity of rabbit vibrators, a pretty big one at that. As an added incentive for the Rabbit Amnesty program, if you do recycle your old rabbit, they'll give you a new one at half-price! How cool is that!

I'm genuinely curious to know what exactly happens to the recycled components of the rabbits. Is the silicone melted down and re-formed? If so, is it re-formed into shiny new rabbits, or something else? What else would it be turned into!? I dare to conjecture that we may someday soon be looking at the possibility of vibrators made from post-industrial material. And why not? Goodness knows what was done with the class/aluminum/fibers that are recycled into new products. The recycling process of those things involves such thorough sterilization that it doesn't really matter. In Prince Edward Island they have only glass beverage containers. Bottles are sterilized and re-used as they are until they are no longer fit for re-use, at which point they are melted down and made into new bottles. Granted, they don't give you a coke for half-price when you recycle the bottle from your last one, but they do give you a deposit fee back on recyclables. When I was a kid I did pretty well at the corner market exchanging bottles I found on the ground for candy.

The only trouble is...
someone stole a shipment of vibrators on their way to be recycled....
Six cartons of toys cleaned and on their way to be recycled were stolen. Their estimated value was 750 pounds - $1118.40 based on today's exchange rate.
I am going to assume that either there must have been toys other than rabbits were in those boxes, or that there is a depreciation of the value of a used sex toy (the rate and calculation of which I would dearly love to know). At about 25 pounds for a new rabbit from LoveHoney, the estimated value of the stolen sex toys would mean that they boxes contained 30 rabbits, which it seems to me would need fewer than six cartons to contain them. It also means that the exchange rate on sex toys from the U.K. to America is really high. While 750 pounds sterling will buy you 30 rabbits (shipping not included) at LoveHoney, $1118.40 will only buy you 12.4 of the original RabbitHabbit from Babeland.

Evidence suggests that the theives planned to sell the stolen goods. There have been reports of people offered cheap sex-toys in pubs in the area. ew. Look out if you are approached by someone selling rabbits in Bath, cause, um, you wouldn't be sketched out by someone selling sex toys places other than a store anyway.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Was it, or was it not?

I may, or may not have been asked out on a date yesterday.

At the end of class, one of my classmates walked over to me as I was gathering my bag and jacket and asked
"Do you have lunch plans"
I was more than a little surprised, which I will further explain in a moment, and replied.
"I have therapy pretty much right now" (which was the truth.) "Let's do it some other time, though."
She said 'ok' and essentially ran away.

It was really only afterwards that I began to wonder if this was her asking for a date and not just a friendly lunch.
She is absolutely brilliant, and were I not otherwise involved, I would certainly go on a date with her.
Given that I am, I would definitely have a friendly lunch with her and want to be friends.

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that someone like her would be interested in someone like me, for really stupid and superficial reasons (besides the fact that I'm really unaccustomed to being asked out), for example, that she has a higher number and more prominent facial piercings than I do, and I believe is at least 5-10 years older than me. Stupid, right? But I am kind of... preppy or something if we are still using those ideas of aestetics, at least in comparison to many of friends and colleagues in grad school, or for that matter the city at large. Never mind that I'm almost certain that she would have heard me mention having a partner.

So: was this asking for a date? Was it not? Did I respond properly?

Sunday, October 19, 2008


This is what I was talking about:
The papillion
"Come for a cause with the Papillon vibrator! Part of the proceeds from this sweet vibe goes directly to the Living Beyond Breast Cancer® organization. The discreet, waterproof, purple vibrator swoops to match the contours of your body, and the satiny, hard plastic shell thrums strongly in both speeds. As if your own pleasure weren’t enough, you’ll be gratified to know you’re also supporting women affected by breast cancer."

So there you go, give orgasms and breast health, to yourself or someone you care about. Brilliant.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Cuming for the Cure

I was all set to write a post about the vibrator I recently gave a friend of mine, which was at the check-out, impulse purchase section at Fascinations.
The packaging proclaimed that this product was to benefit breast cancer research.
It was purple, not pink. It did not say 'hope' anywhere on the vibrator.
It was a multi-speed, I think about 4 inches long, with a slight g-spot curve. Two double-A batteries not included.

I have been scouring the internet in attempts to find out more information about this sex toy to benefit cancer research but have found absolutely no information with which to try to compose witty prose.

So let's just say : HEY, go to your local sex store and see if they have them. Buy many. Cum for the cure and give them to everyone you know who might also enjoy a vibrator for the cause.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

For that tingly fresh feeling!

I never thought I would hear myself say this, but:

Why does everything vibrate these days? Seriously.
The vibrating razor business really just strikes me as dangerous. I far prefer a steady sharp blade against my skin. Doesn’t a sharp thing that moves on its own seem more likely to cause cuts than one that does not.

Once a trend like that hits the market it will of course spread like wildfire:

The Neutrogena vibrating face scrubber
It even looks like a vibrator! I realize that young people – I’m sure the target market here is young women, will do damn near anything and try any crazy thing that’s thrown at them to get rid of acne. I’ve been there. This however I’m sure is little more than a thiny veiled way for a skin-care company to sell discreet vibrators to teenage girls. Even if it isn’t there plan, I guarantee you that the Wave is being used to stimulate just as many clitori as it is skin cells. I knew more than one girl at boarding school who was especially attached to her electric toothbrush.

Given that, I need to say that I’m entirely in favor of younger women being able to access sex toys. Masturbation after is, as they say, the safest sex there is. In a world where sex is getting scarier and more dangerous and an understanding of it is being increasingly limited by the powers that soon will not be, teenage girls being told not to have sex should have a little help getting off. I think it’s a little stupid and short sited that one needs to be 18 in order to enter a sex store or purchase sex toys. There’s no age floor to purchasing safer sex aids and such in pharmacies and grocery stores, nor should there be.

They have conventional intercourse, which we have been told is the only kind of sex there is. They engage in other activities that contain the word sex. They do things that I certainly think qualify as sex that aren’t generally labeled as such. Most of them also masturbate, and giving them a little encouragement and assistance in doing so might do wonders for them and society at large.* I don’t think that selling younger people sex toys is going to stop them from having sex, but I do think that it just might increase sexual control and personal agency for them, and could be part of a larger project of safer and informed sexuality for young people.

I’m reminded of the ‘Relaxeciser’ on Mad Men.** A young secretary discovers that a weight-loss belt that her firm is marketing to women has the effect of being rather “stimulating in a certain area.” Those marketing the product are never clear whether or not this side effect is intended, but take it as a point in the product’s favor and try subtly to integrate it into the campaign.

Good on you Neutrogena. The wave retails for about $14.00. Not bad for a vibrator. For the time being I’ll ignore the fact that the disposable pads that are used to clean the skin are incredibly wasteful and make the gadget a costly and environmentally unsound way to refresh one’s ‘skin’. Heck maybe my ‘skin’ needs some refreshing – the wave even comes in my favorite color.

*I’m picturing malls and streets without roving hoards of teenagers, because they’re all at home jerking off.

** A truly brilliant show

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I might not go down in history, but I will go down on your sister

Quote courtesy of Hank Moody, 'Californication' episode 102.

With bathing-suit season upon us, and whilst enjoying the aforementioned brilliant Shotime program, I've had plenty of occasion to consider the ever-pressing question of pubic hair.

I have long maintained the sentiment echoed by Hank that bare down there just isn't appealing. It's weird. I'm sorry, it just is. In all of my sordid adventures, I have only encountered one partner who consistently kept their business shaved. I did not like it. It looked weird, and it scratched my face all to hell. I don't think anyone is honestly invested enough in the supposed cleanliness of totally shaved genitalia to suffer stubble burn and the resultant breakouts.

Granted, there are limits. This is one of the few arenas in life in which I both practice and preach moderation. None is too little, un-tended is too much. I think it's matter of courtesy. If you have any desire to have someone down there, make their experience a little easier, and a little less like flossing. Neatly trimmed and maintain pubes are just more pleasant for everyone involved. Let it go wild, and you hold in a lot more sweat, fluids, and subsequent odors than with a somewhat neater jungle.

I happen to have performed the piece 'Hair' in the VDay Boulder production of 'The Vagina Monologues' this year. My one and only attempt at removing all of my bush was exactly like that of the woman in the monologue.
"I felt little when my hair was gone down there. The skin got irritated, and even calamine lotion didn't help. There were screaming red bumps, I refused to shave it again."
It was awful. It hurt, it itched, there were ingrown hairs, it made sex uncomfortable, and took just about forever to grow back to a point at which it no longer felt prickly.

During the show, I also saw many, many more vaginas in one time and place than in my entire life prior to that point put together. I was shocked to discover how few of them had hair! I had long held the belief that be-nuded vaginas were almost exclusively the domain of celebrities, models, strippers, and others who essentially could not have much by the way of pubis due to their profession, with a few high-maintainance elite thrown in. In the cast of 20, I can only say for certain that four, including me, had any real semblance of pubic hair. There were a few with band-aid sized landing strips, and the rest were completely bare.
When did this begin to happen as a social phenomenon?!

Again, to quote Hank Moody,
"It would be nice to find some pubis down there, not full-on 70's playboy bush, but just something to remind me that I am performing cunnilingus on an adult."

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Things that had not occurred to me about the internet: That the person to whom one lost one's virginity on the beach at summer camp* might track one down on facebook, after not having seen or spoken to said person in five years.

*we were counselors, not campers and of an age reasonably to be able to consent. It might also be worth mentioning that, although I am not a person of faith, it was a Church Camp, where I know for a fact lots of other people also had their first sexual experience.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

in praise of the world wide web

I know this is a bit 'johnny -come -lately,' but I've been thinking about just what a valuable resource the internet is in terms of sexuality.
1) sex toys
I can't imagine how many more people feel comfortable purchasing their sex accouterments this way than would have felt able to walk into a sex store to browse and purchase. I got my first vibrator this way when I was still shy of doing so in person, which is hard to imagine now. This is also how I procured my harness, which technically I found at Oh My! but which they didn't have in my size at the time.
2) communities
How on earth did people with less than common fetishes find each other, or talk about their kinks before? Personal ads? Those horrible phone dating connection things for which there are far too many television ads? Phone sex services? There are so many resources for finding out about one's kink and other people who might share it via the web.
3) general dating
Seriously. So many people seem to find or nourish their relationships with the help of the internet nowadays. Mine didn't start there exactly, but it certainly was a useful tool in keeping it strong during nearly a year of long-distance. Again I think this is particularly relevant for special-needs/special interest/minority groups. Granted, my attempt at internet personals yielded only creepy old men and emo teen-aged girls, but I've heard many tales of it being quite effective, for everything from the most casual of sex to the most serious of relationships.
4) information
Obviously. When kids aren't allowed to learn about sex in any real way in their schools, and there are so many questions about what kind of care/safer sex/birth control/sti testing methods in so many places, people are given the ability to find them. Of course, there's a lot of misinformation to be had there as well. A friend and I once commiserated about a site reassuring us that we did not, in fact, have herpes following a case of ingrown hairs for one, and pimples for the other.*
With significant or less-significant others, sex advice/therapy, and needless to say but said anyway, blogging.

*I'm really so super-responsible about testing, communicating, and being safe(r) but we all get a little paranoid now and again. I am happy to report that said friend is the same way.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Is this covered by my insurance?

Have you seen the Walgreens website?
Every time I get a receipt that says I could win $3000.00 there, I go. I never really paid much attention to the rest of it.

When working on the online prescription service, M.A. pointed out the 'sexual wellness section.'
HOLY.CRAP. We were both expecting something along the lines of what is available at our local Walgreens, the sexual wellness products of which include birth control, condoms, lube - pretty good lube really, one or two really unremarkable looking 'personal massagers' and at-home test kits for pregnancy and HIV. OH! and let us not forget KY yours + mine! Really, the usual.

The Walgreens website basically has a sex store. Click on 'sexual wellness' and one of the first things you will see is the liberator. These are most certainly not available at my local branch of the pharmacy. There are romance games at Can you imagine the impact of Walgreens locations actually carrying all of these things? Do some of them? Or do some of them carry better sex stuff than mine?! I want to know if there are really branches in which I could walk in and buy a liberator. I've been saying for years that Target needs to carry sex-toys, in their own little section of course, and it would seem that Walgreens has gotten one step closer, online.

I'm mostly surprised because I generally expect such large corporations to be boring and generally opposed to interesting and/or safe sex. This was a truly delightful surprise. Kudos, Walgreens. Now if only you could ever fill my prescriptions on time.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Keep Life Sexy

I know you've seen the commercials. They're hilarious. You've probably looked for them on YouTube already.

KY Yours and Mine

Is this what it takes to get mainstream (straight) American to use lube? I suppose its all about the 'exciting sensations.' People need to be convinced that it will somehow infinitely improve their sex lives, which must mean that it needs to feel remarkable in some way. I confess, I have not product tested these products. Maybe they do something incredible that feels tingly and special in some way I don't understand. Honestly, I'm convinced that its really.just.lube. Hello world - discover lubricant! Sex works better when things are slippery. This is a design of nature that can do with a little help, like so many can. How is that the mainstream culture can embrace plastic surgery, but not a little grease for the ol' wheel?

Need I mention that the 'him' and 'her' concept is remarkably heterosexist and obnoxious?
"He puts the purple one on her. She puts the purple one on him."

Though honestly, if it convinces more people that lube is a normal and good thing to involve in sex and that it doesn't mean that anyone's naughty bits aren't working right, I can get behind it.

Mon Amore works in community health at a major university, which includes providing information and accouterments of safer and healthy sex.
One day, several gentleman belonging to organizations with greek letters on their residences came in looking for condoms. YAY! Way to be responsible gentlemen! One of M.A.'s coworker's suggested that they take some (free) lube with them as well, in handy single - use packs. They insisted they didn't need it. Obviously. Coworker tried gently to explain to them that it was rather um, helpful for their intended partners in coitus. They maintained their position that it was unnecessary. Coworker asked if they had considered discussing the issue with the owners of the orifices they enjoy, and they laughed it off and said there was no need, girls they slept with clearly didn't need it or they would know.
Coworker "Well you've obviously never been penetrated have you?"
Following their departure, "I hope they get penetrated without lube."

Saturday, May 3, 2008

By the numbers

Google results for 'sex' 727,000,000
Results on my iTunes: 30
Results on iTunes store: 150

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

bend-over boss

Scene: Kinsey hard at work hanging lights for a show this weekend, with boss, and production manager.

Kinsey's boss: Did you know I'm an honorary lesbian?
Kinsey: No, what gave you that status?
B: I've dated more women that are gay than heterosexual women.
Kinsey: Really?
Production manager: It's you're feminine side.
B: Yeah, my backside.
pause for laughter
B: Isn't your boyfriend one of those guys?*
Kinsey: Somewhere in the neighborhood.

I kind of can't express how awesome and hilarious this is. My boss basically said to two of his employees "I date chicks who give it to me up the ass."

* I believe this was meant to imply 'who dates queer women, ' ie) me, as opposed to 'who likes it in the ass,' but it was not entirely clear.

On the road and in the air

Ok, so I know this is coming a week late, but that's the way it is sometimes.

The Tranny Road Show was fantastic!
It had that ability that only variety-type acts have to cross the entire board of emotion and entertainment. It was funny, it was touching, it spurred me to laughter, anger, and nearly to tears.
Highlights included an aerialist - sort of acrobatic dancing done suspended from ropes and/or hoops in the air. I'm pretty buff, but I come no where close to this woman in badassness. I would sell my left kidney for that kind of upper body strength and muscle tone.
There was a 'pupalelli' show, which is a combination of puppeteer and ukalleli. She had puppets strapped to her feet and legs which danced along to the song she played and sang. It was a truly impressive feat of coordination.
One woman in her 70's did a magic act. She had such an amazing 40's era broad kind of femininity, tottering about on her heels and making off color jokes while doing old-school magic tricks.
There was a guy who talked about his recent wedding, which had a circus theme. He changed into what he wore during the ceremony, which was a lion costume.
AND, one of the more adorable human beings ever, Kelly 'Shortandqueer'. He is precisely that. He's a tiny (shorter than me) little redhead who talked about performing masculinity and trying to control his hand gestures, which read as either feminine or gay. The whole audience was laughing and squealing about how cute and funny he was.

Things that were not great about it: The way in which one performer talked about her vagina. She said, 'Ask a tranny girl about her vagina, and she'll tell you how much it cost - $8,300 in Thailand.' Much of the rest of the theme of her piece was about the cost of her surgery and how much it put her into debt. That figure is approximately what it costs most ftms to get top surgery.* Bottom surgery for trans guys runs somewhere around $50,000. It is steadily improving, but not nearly as well perfected as sex reassignment surgery for mtfs. She also made this really horrible comment about 'girls who keep their penises' which just smacked of privilege. She was in the position to get surgery, even if it did take her some time to pay it off. She had such a strange combination of a victim complex and entitlement about it. She was also kind of creepy and gross and I really didn't want to hear another word about her vagina, sex with her girlfriend, or the orgasms she had. I spend half my life talking about, and listening to people talk about vaginas.

*That's also about a third of my current student loan debt, which is remarkably low compared to most people.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Day of Silence

I'm warning you I'm not going to be funny and/or clever today, if you ever find me to be in the first place. I'm also talking about sexuality more than I am sex per se. It seems to be a week of events.

Today is the Day of Silence.
I'm wearing an official shirt. I am not being totally silent, as that's not really responsible or feasible at my job. Phones need to be answered, directions need to be given, and bosses need to be spoken too.
Tonight is the night of noise. Having represented the silencing of the GLBTQ community all day, said community and allies then let the fuck loose - speak, scream, sing, holler out what it is that's been kept quiet all too long.

I've been thinking a fair bit about how this phenomenon of silence has affected me. There are the obvious statements that I could make about having been queer and closeted in High School, but that seems rather redundant. Instead, I'm thinking about the silence around not being gay or straight - which most people understand or label as 'bisexual,' but doesn't quite fit for me. There's been a good bit of trying to understand exactly what this means and how it works in by life -do I like girls? do I like boys? do I like boys AND girls? Something about the polarity of 'bisexual' doesn't sit right with me. It seems to imply a certain equality of desire and attraction that also suggest to many ears exclusivity, as though one goes back and forth as a veritable sexual metronome. That is not the case, at least not my case.

I've experienced a lot of what I now call 'lesbian wrath' for being in a relationship with a man.
I'm happy to say that not much of this has come from friends who knew me when I still thought I was gay. It has substantially been from people I've met since this relationship began in September of 2006.
Kinsey: Hey (name of girl) how are you? This is my boyfriend (name of boyfriend).
Boyfriend: Nice to meet you.
Girl: Boyfriend, huh? glowers
Kinsey: yep. smiles innocently

It would take a visually impaired, socially sheltered idiot not to clock me, especially in certain situations. I am a walking stereotype of outdoors-ey, riot grrly, animals and large vehicles, flannel wearing, furniture constructing dykiness. (Although I suppose less so now than when I was younger, and I clean up pretty darn good if I do say so) I can understand disbelief about my man-liking, but have been really surprised and dismayed by some of the accompanying anger, as though I am somehow the property of Sappho's sisters everywhere. Its exactly the same kind of attitude I saw in unenlightened heterosexual men when I did think I was gay, "But you're too pretty to be a LESBIAN"*

I find myself often not revealing the complexity of my sexuality, or my history with women because its easier to just let people think that I'm straight, have always been straight, and will always be straight. Its hard to let someone get to know me without including those facts, but I would much, much rather let me people think that I'm straight, and a devoted ally, than I would to give anyone whomsoever fuel for 'Its just a phase,' or 'She just needed to find the right guy.' kinds of attitudes.

So after all that, I will say a happy thing about perceived sexuality:
I was riding the bus in Boulder one day on the way to school. I was wearing, as I often do, a tshirt that said 'My girlfriend goes to Smith,' courtesy of the Smith College Debate Society. An older gentleman sat down across from me. He said,
"Does your girlfriend really go to Smith?"
Me: "Actually, my boyfriend goes to CU."
Older Man: "Oh, that's nice too."
It was so amazingly kind and well intentioned. He was asking the question genuinely, and it obviously wasn't pervy.

* I always hated that word.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Would you like some horseradish with that?

Today, in honor of Passover

Whilst I was in college debates would rage rampant across living rooms and dinning halls about about how kashrut applied to sex, specifically of course, oral sex.
My conclusions on the matter are as follows:
1) As strictly speaking, one is not eating the person on whom one is going down*, even though we commonly refer to it as such, the point may be moot to begin with. However, given that there is a high likely hood of swallowing at least some fluid if one is not using a condom or dental dam I can understand the concern.
2) The laws about what makes one clean or unclean, ie) fit to enter the House of the Lord acknowledge that some things are out of one's control*. Even if you've done all the washing and followed all the rules in order to make yourself clean to enter the Temple, there's still a pretty high possibility that wandering through the bustling streets of Jerusalem one will bump into someone who is not clean. This run-in does not negate one's cleanliness. I posit then, that sexual running into someone who doesn't keep a kosher diet, or has been gene spliced with shellfish, does not violate kosher law.

* I would therefore venture to guess that they have not been slaughtered in any manor, kosher or otherwise unless we're talking about oral necrophilia, in which case I have no idea where to begin.

*I feel the deep seeded need to mention that 'unclean' in this sense is not a moral judgment the way that it might sound to us now, but often has more to do looking out for one's own health and state to be out - and - about. My favorite example of this is of women during menstruation. They were considered 'unclean' at this time, which meant no heavy lifting, cooking, cleaning, or other Biblical Hebrew wifery they might otherwise be required to do. I firmly argue that this was all about not having to do house work with cramps as opposed to not contaminating anyone else.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

getting down and dirty with mother earth

In honor of Earth Day, I want to talk about sustainable/eco friendly sex toys and accouterments. After all, sex falls into the list of the top five most natural things for a human body to do.

If you stop to think about it, safer sex devices and toys have the potential to create an awful lot of needless waste: latex and non-latex condoms, gloves, and dams going in the trash.* For the toys, there are batteries and gross over packaging- remember when you unpacked your latest butt plug/vibrator/dildo? Wasn't it ridiculous how much plastic you had to dig through to get to your toy? If we were to get really big-picture about it, which we really should, there's a horrific amount of packing materials used if our toys/porn/lingerie come to us through the mail. That isn't even factoring in the fuel usage of shipping them.

Once upon a time, the only eco-friendly material out of which toys were made was glass. They make for absolutely beautiful toys. They are also expensive as hell and honestly, not all of us want glass shoved up our naughty bits, no matter how many times we've been assured that they're shatter proof.

Now, there are a range of sex toys made out of sustainable wood, also available from our friends at Babeland: "Meticulously created from sustainable organic hardwood and coated with gentle, surgical grade Lubrosity™ for easy care, the Flip combines art, pleasure, and conscience in one incredibly beautiful package. Each Flip is a unique piece of artwork, so the size of toy and color/grain of the wood will vary" Sustainable wood floggers and paddles are also available.

There are a lot of options now for vibrators that plug in or recharge like the gigi,if one doesn't always happen to be getting down conveniently close Again, the major draw backs being the high cost.

And of course, a sexy Earth Day celebration wouldn't be complete without a complete eco-sex kit.

I haven't yet managed to come upon a condom, dam, or glove that is made in an environmentally friendly way, but as Hank Green points out on thanks to various forms of birth control, we've been able to cut down on human population, thereby preventing a greater strain on non-renewable resources. I shudder to think about the possible campaigns by pro-lifers about fetus dumping as medical waste. Let's compost!

treehugger has some great guides to buying green lube and sex toys.

Alas, as Dan Savage recently addressed, there are not currently good options for recycling sex toys, and honestly, there are limits to buying vintage.

*I've yet to hear of a reusable barrier...ew

Friday, April 11, 2008


The Lovely Lauren brought this to my attention, after I talked about another iVibrator towards which Dan Savage pointed me.
Now, I’ve been trying to explain, to relatively little avail the commodification and ‘coolification’ of sex toys for a while now. Vibrators among certain young and hip sets are akin to bags and shoes in terms of status and indie cool to others. It isn’t really about how much you spent on your sex toy(s) it’s about having them, shopping for them, knowing about them, and talking about them. It’s a culture of ‘if you know you know’ much the same way as the rest of idie/hipster culture is.

At my lovely Alma Mater, it was quite common for groups of friends, social clubs, etc to make jaunts both to the local sex store downtown, and to make day-trips to those further a field, to the sketchy warehouses along the highway in Connecticut, or big-name stores like Good Vibrations and Babeland in Boston and New York respectively.

I think these good people hit the nail on the head in saying: OhMiBod harnesses the iPod movement and popularity to bring a higher level of acceptance and openness about sexuality in a fun and liberating way. By ‘harnessing the iPod movement’ they mean ‘cashing in on brand power-cool’. Since when does a music player constitute a movement? Yes, they’re everywhere, yes, almost everyone has one, (including, I’m told, her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II) and I have no idea how I ever lived, or could live without one again. But can we really believe that by putting the ‘i’ in front of a sex toy, this thing is going to change the way that people think about sex, and the use of sex toys? I’ll grant you there are most likely a fair number of people who wouldn’t otherwise really consider buying a sex toy who will feel at liberty to do so because now it has the white silhouetted figure endorsing it. I don’t think that these people will be prudes, just boring suburbanites who somehow haven’t yet caught on to pleasure parties (the Tupperware of sex toys) who have dangly shit on their phones and will buy pretty much anything with the right logo.

There are nifty accessories available for the OhMiBod as well! My favorite accessory is the garter holder, seen above. It’s like the strap I wear on my arm at the gym, but pink, and goes around one’s thigh! The only problem is that it seems as though the only models are built to fit nanos and minis. What about all of those larger iPods, the third, forth, and fifth generation ones that are far too wide for the strap? Maybe the gym armband will have to do in a pinch.

Along with accessories for the toy itself, there are OhMiBod blogs, and playlists. It really is creating a whole elite culture around a sex toy. I’m having a hard time believing that this is really people being open about their sexuality, and not people trying to show the world how cool and liberated they are, because they have sex toys, and blog about them.*

*I'm totally aware of the fact that I'm blogging about sex toys and thereby trying to prove how cool and liberated I am in regards to sexuality

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

sex toys and celebrities

According to Self magazine, 4 times as many women between the ages of 18-60 have tried using a vibrator as have tried yoga. Which surprised me, as in Northampton, we definitely have more yoga studios than sex-stores. But then, I suppose that the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Personally, I started yoga when I was 17. I was 20 when I bought my first vibrator.

I'm not sure if I love that or hate it. I'd sort of like to see a masturbation v. exercise poll- and if there is any correlation between the two. Evidently, Self seems to think so, as they bill their publication as a health and fitness magazine.

Eva Longoria managed to get herself some negative attention for being so vibe-positive in that same publication when she was quoted in an interview as saying that she gives the pocket rocket to all her friends.

Missy Elliot sings about Sex toys on The Cookbook.

I could talk about vibrators on Sex and the City, but there really isn't anything else to be said.


Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear Brookstone,
Isn't it time that you came clean?

Honestly; who is it that you think you're fooling by calling your high-end vibrators"personal massagers"? The chairs I believe, the foot massagers as well. But the hand held ones? Given that one of them looks exactly like the Hitachi Magic Wand? Come on.

You sell vibrators bracketing. There's really no shame in that. Everyone needs a little lovin', one way or another. Especially as your clientèle tends to be on the hoity-toity side anyway, why not 'fess up? I thought the wealthy in this country could get away with anything. Aren't the rich entitled to designer orgasms?